One of the most incredible sentences my mother ever said to me was when I was sixteen. I was playing a lot of music and socialising with some rather Avant guard characters. One evening, she said: “Mark, I just want you to know that’s it’s OK if you’re gay.”
At the time, I was taken aback. How could she even think that? It’s only as I’ve got older that I realise what a hugely generous and open thing it was to say. And it must have taken a lot of courage for her to broach the subject.
I am certainly in touch with my feminine side (many of my girlfriends were also convinced I was gay when I met them) but what she was doing was normalising any decisions I might make about my sexuality. And, regardless of social norms, she was, in effect, saying: It’s OK to be you!
Since then, I’ve seen so many examples of people struggling with opening up to their parents about their sexuality. And the more I see of them, the more I realise how astonishingly generous my mother had been back then.
Allowing someone to be themselves, regardless of social norms, and letting them know they are loved and supported regardless of who they are, is something we can all learn from. I remain in awe of my late mother’s love and acceptance when I was young and vulnerable, and in the years since. A truly remarkable woman and a generosity I hope I carry forward in my daily life with others who may challenge the social norms. Be you!