I’m disappointed in myself. There, I said it. Despite knowing the folly of external influence, there are times that I let myself down badly. And this week was just one of those.
I had several projects up in the air. People weren’t replying to my emails and my calls, asking/demanding a resolution and it was driving me insane. As the week passed, I became more and more frustrated at the lack of communication. But at the same time, I knew that the Gods (however you define them) test us at times like these. More so when they know we should know better.
I knew I had to let it go and allow the universe to deliver resolutions when it was ready and not when I wanted it. But still I found myself frustrated, not least at my own addiction to external forces affecting my internal Karma.
Relying on outside influences to make one happy or calm is a fool’s game. We just hand the power to others to define our inner contentment. I truly believe there is a divine moment for everything in life and we learn the things we need when the time is right. And not a second before. So, forcing our expectation on them if foolish at best.
The lesson reminded me of author Paulo Coelho who watched a friend wait at the car when he went back for something he forgot. When Paulo asked him why, he simply replied, “When I am forced to pause, I count to twenty so my guardian angel has time to use their “many instruments.””
Clearly, I need to reread the serenity prayer and have the wisdom to know the difference between my own, and the Gods’ timelines. And, obviously, I need to wait patiently for longer to allow my guardian angel time to instrument my future!